A Day in the Life

I am a highly anxious person so therefore need to do all I can to prepare and organise myself in advance. I am known to write everything down in order for me to process it and remember it. I don't have good short-term memory especially if I'm rushed or under pressure so I use these strategies through my days to try to keep on top of life.

One thing to note: I love stationary and feel the need to have lots of reminders; things I can tick off make me feel more in control of life's unpredictability. I use my phone's calendar on the go, I have a weekly planner at home which I update just in case I can't access my phone, I have a daily schedule board that allows me to take each day at a time and a monthly calendar just to tick off the days down to eg my holiday or exciting things I need to prepare for!

I've got my morning routine down to a fine art: awake and out the door in 20-30mins. Ok, I don't wear make-up and can get away with looking like I've just crawled out of bed. I try to prep my lunch and pack my bag the night before. I have all my clothes organised and go-to outfits that work together in my wardrobe to eliminate the need to make early-morning decisions (the triple X makes me have low self-esteem which in turn has given me the trait of doubtfulness and an inability to make quick and concise decisions). I feed the cats, wash, change, brush my teeth and I'm out the door. I have breakfast at work.

I hate rushing. I make sure I have plenty of time when I need to be somewhere so that I can gather myself and have some quiet time before the day starts and to do last minute loo trips or things I've probably forgotten to do. I need to know what I'm doing in the day too- I hate the unknown.

If I am given information verbally or written down by someone else I re-write it/ draw it or if I don't have access to paper create a mental picture of it in my mind, sometimes singing it to a tune also helps if I'm really desperate. I try and keep a notepad and pen on me and a highlighter which helps too if I need to read and remember a document or plan.

I currently work in a highly stressful atmosphere in a school so undoubtably this does not bode well for my health. To keep calm I will use CBT methods on how I am feeling or if I get a moment I'll make a list of what I need to do or the food shopping I need to buy- which helps to clear my head. I sometimes apply lavender oil to remind me to calm down and take deep breaths. I tend to breathe really fast or hold my breath in stressed situations and forget to do the proper diaphragm breathing that is really good for you.

I try to take a walk, away from the work-bubble during my work break to make me step out of the intense zone of frantic thought and worry.

I make sure that some point in my week I go home after work and have nothing to do. I need time to myself to re-coop, tidy my house to help clear my head and prepare for the days ahead. When I do have me-time it often involves a focussed activity like arts and crafts or binge-watching a comedy series that doesn't involve a lot of concentration. I like my own company, I like to be alone because there are no social demands, there are no 'what ifs', I don't have to be on show for anyone. This is perhaps one reason why I don't make friends easily- to meet up with a friend gives me quite a bit of angst and living with someone eg a friend or a partner makes me shudder. I have been through this and have felt so uncomfortable as I can't let go and just be me. I like to disappear, putting on a 'I'm interested, and I'm listening' face to someone else is so exhausting and I get so fed up of people asking me if i'm ok all the time.

If I am going out in the evenings which I tend to do (I do over-load myself and am constantly advised by my therapist to stop! due to my lower thresholds) I will often take a nap before I go out because I don't tend to sleep well at night- I am always able to fall asleep quickly in the day. I frequently use hypnotherapy when attempting sleep. When I am left to my own devices my inner voice is in constant chatter or all the tiny things that happened in the day will be going round my head critiquing what I should have said etc. Listening to someone else talk is a great distraction. Guided Visualisation is perfect as it takes me to another place away from the worries of my life. Thinking the cliche 'I'm floating on a cloud' or 'I'm in the middle of the ocean' really does work when you feel constantly sleep deprived- there are loads of great meditations on youtube or free apps to download to your smartphone.

As I mentioned in my Stomach Problem post in times of stress I think my digestive system slows down. Therefore I try to eat earlier in the evenings. I have also found if I don't eat anything before I go to bed I am less likely to wake up with a stomach ache in the early morning. Every 3 weeks I have a type of massage called 'Lymphatic Drainage' this helps to release all the toxins and tensions that build up out of my body. It's pricey but it does help!

If I think of anything else that helps me, I'll update this post but for now I'm going back to my cross-stitch and Friends episodes!

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I really appreciate it :)

Trisomy Grace

xxx